I am not dead.

But apparently food has poisoned me and this poison is desperately clinging to my intestines.  I do not want to eat.  For anyone that knows me, you know that this is, indeed, a dire state of affairs.
I've managed to eat bananas, though, so that's cool.  I hate bananas, but bananas have shown a propensity for staying inside my intestines, so bananas it is. I have a feeling that after this whole ordeal, I will never want to eat bananas again.  I already want to throw this Pocari Sweat out the window.  
Do not panic, though.  I am staying hydrated and such. Sometimes, I even eat crackers.